among other things, urbana has a pretty decent public transit system. i sometimes use this to get across campus. was doing just this a couple of days back. Given my sexual orientation, if i ever notice someone its some cute girl sitting beside me or within eye-shot. but for some reason couldnt help notice this young dude. must be around 20. looked 15. the thing that caught my attention was the fact that he was in uniform. military uniform. like other universities, this place has an army and air force ROTC. the place where young men and women are promised a life of honor and bravery and of course free tuition. (The average household income of an undergrad here is ......200 fucking thousand dollars. and this is a midwest public university!!). couldnt help thinking...is he going to be sent abroad to fight a current or some yet unknown war. couldnt help thinking that the rest of us on board this bus will carry on living our hollow lives.
if you know me....this must be a surprise. i am hell bent against the war in iraq. was since the day the good president said eye-rack. but still am not able to understand the difference in lives being lead by a few million versus the rest. the few million who have their lives or the love of their life at stake. sure....i am an indian and i did not ask them to be sent out to die. and i dont even expect gas to cost less than 3 dollars a gallon (current price in bombay 3.4 $ per gallon). but still, i have trouble accepting these man made differences.
While i am here worrying about whether i will ever start liking girls who like me (rather than those who dont), there is a dead man in iraq who was shot by a sniper while he was carting his dead donkey through najaf. who cares who the sniper was. immaterial. hes as dead as his donkey
in the beginning i used to think "how can bush sleep at night". now i am wondering how america can sleep at night while asking young chubby face to grow older so soon. asking young men and women to grow as old as they are ever going to. for you are always old when you die. as old as you will get.

i passed my qualifiers.

musings

isnt it true:
"love: all fall down
_____________


whether you fall in love or fail in love, you go down
you fail, you go down alone
you fall, you go down on each other

(-:


another product of a wasted mind: does religion/ thought of god trigger a certain portion of the brain. do other animals even have that part? is that part triggered by anything else? i have a feeling its heavy metal/hard rock. god and metal: two things that mankind invented to feel superior than other things.

other than these stupid thoughts creeping me out , leading the life of a student. i feel like i am back in SPCE with a "study holidays" going on.